New Year Resolution

My resolution is to keep my resolution and the only way I can do that is not to make one. :)

I want another Aussie ... husband says NO

Doesn't he know it's Christmas time... Eric's little Ruby is doing great and her sister LuLu (my granddaughter got her for Christmas) is such a great puppy I want another one. Lexie needs a sister, don't y'all think I'll send pic of LuLu soon.
It's time to think about our new year as writers and as part of the human race. Like the picture, sometimes I feel my life is past its prime but I plan to move past this feeling in 2011. A hammer and sweat can fix a shack and exercise and positive thinking can fix a sluggish mind. Look out 2011, I feel creative ideas racing toward you. Be ready!

I would have killed to have this when I was a kid

Before I was married I had two horses. They shared a stall and in truth their barn was more like a two room shed. One was a stall and one was a feed and tack room. I just thought I was so lucky to have two horses since Daddy raised cows and horses are money pits and cows make money. As far as having a four wheel ranger to zip around the pasture well I didn't even know I could wish for one. This is my son, Ron, and his family... wife Erin, son Kane, daughter Ella. That is the barn I talk about and yes they decorated the stalls. Merry Christmas horses!

Ain't I cute... what happened??

You know what I noticed first in this picture of me with Santa in 1951... look at Santa's nose! I wish this was color so I could see if it was red. And no this wasn't made in good ole Alabama... I was born in Ohio. Look at that snowsuit, I bet I was sweating bullets.

Enough with the Christmas stuff ... lets laugh

Love it!

Looking at old pictures last night

Look at how short my dress was... and how long my hair was... and how long Ronnie's hair was. He was 16 and I was 17 and this picture proves it... you can't see stupid... Don't we look clueless or maybe like we're playing dress up
Love stuck though, will be 42 years together in 2011

Have you been a good boy this year...

I can explain Santa. My son Ron is on Santa's knee trying to find excuse for bad behavior and Missy, my daughter, is praying none of her friends walk by and see her near the big guy in the red suit. This picture was taken in the early eighties, I'm think 1982. Merry Christmas Kids, I'm posting this at facebook hohohohehehe

FYI painting your toenails red doesn't keep them warm

I got into the Christmas spirit and painted my toenails Holly Berry Red... if I have to say so myself, and I will because my granddaugthers said I looked like snow with drops of blood were someone chopped off my toes... too many horror movies for them. Anyway, my toes look great but I thought I should let you know that even if your toes look hot they're not. Ran out barefoot to feed the dog and I thought I had frost bite. Ronnie said I need a keeper. Nice snuggle warm socks on now but I can't see my pretty toenails now. sigh

Question for y'all
If you had no money and I mean none... what would you give your spouse for Christmas. I will give you my answer tomorrow. This isn't a goofball question think about it.

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Took Lake, Kane and Kelsey (my almost other granddaughter because she wants me to be her grandmother) to the living Christmas tree performance at Highland Baptist Church. My nieces, Kati and Kelsey... not above one... sang. Okay I've never went to a Living Christmas Tree thingy before but WOW it was wonderful. Enjoyed the singing and the light show was awesome... quoting Kane. But after about 10 minutes he was wanting to know when it was going to be over. He said he didn't enjoy opera singing hehehehehe
It is cold cold cold here in north Alabama and I'm so glad I stayed inside today and kept my granny bones toasty.

Y'all all invited to my Open House Dec 11

Good food, Good friends, what more can you ask. By the pictures can you tell I like Jim Shore pieces?

Trees Done

Don't you think the kids did a good job. All four grandchildren and a friend.

Give Thanks... an live like your dying

I posted this last year at Thanksgiving but I like to read it on the holiday and I would like to share again. I wrote this for a writing class... instructions were to show emotion


A winkled finger touches the rose and ivy design on the china plate. Tears fill her eyes, and she quickly closes them. Reaching for the handkerchief she always keeps in her sweater pocket, Labecca wipes the evidence of emotion from her cheek.
Any emotion brought questions, doctors and medicines to stop you from feeling. Memories should be allowed to flow because they painted joy, hope and love into your life. With them your essence is like a masterpiece painted by an artist; without them you are like a wisp of smoke waiting to leave.
Labecca looks around her small room with beige tile on the floor, beige paint on the wall and earth tone bedspread on the bed. No color! She feels herself fade into the neutral texture of the room and its nothingness strangles all hope of happiness from her.
She glances down at the only piece of china left from her life as a daughter, sister, mother and wife. Every Thanksgiving she had set her wedding china for her family’s feast. Afterwards she washed each piece by hand to preserve it for the next annual tradition. But what happens to tradition when you’re the only one left?
Carefully placing the plate in the wire basket attached to her walker, Lebecca struggles to rise and starts the long walk to the dining area. As she shuffles down the sterile hallway the sound of children laughing haunts her.

Help I'm in a rut and I can't get out

The picture says it all. It's hard to write in when you're in that position. Christmas decorating is going well but.... I know --- butt in chair.

A Very unproductive writing weekend

I've been home all weekend and I've not looked at my writing. I've been looking at Crhistmas pictures to make a screensaver and found this picture.

I'm getting started on my decoration early

For those who have seen my house at Christmas... I've already started with decorations this year. I want to have them done and not be last minute before my open house on Dec 11th. Those that don't know, I'll be posting different rooms in December. I let my grandchildren decorate the tree so it might not have a theme or be balance but we have fun and that is what is important.
This was the tree last year.

Childhood memories, are they really as sweet as we remember??

I'm posting a memoir I wrote, hope you enjoy.

Adults don’t like snow!


It was New Year’s Eve 1963. I stood at the picture window, my eleven-year-old heart pounding with excitement, and watched snow float silently to the ground. My brother and I whispered about all the great things we were going to do come morning. Things we had only read about or our northern-bred mother had told us about. Sledding, snow angels and snowball fights were first on our list. Little did we know that tomorrow we would discover a shocking aspect to adult behavior?
Northwest Alabama woke up to the amazing sight of 18 inches of snow covering the ground. As my brother and I squealed with delight at the new adventure before us, our parents looked out the window frowning.
Daddy accidentally invented the most memorable event of the day. Standing on the back porch looking at his cattle standing belly deep in snow, he tried to figure out how to get ten bales of hay to the pasture to feed them.
“Come on kids, I have an idea.”
We put on our warmest jackets, gloves and hats. Daddy was the only one that had rubber boots, so mother duct taped plastic over my tennis shoes and my brother’s leather cowboy boots. Daddy had no problem walking in the snow, with his long legs he took giant steps, but it was a struggle for us. I asked Daddy to take shorter steps so we could walk in his footprints. Laughing he picked my brother up like a bag of potatoes and told me to get on his back. He carried us to the tractor shed. Cranking the old Farmall, Daddy let it warm up as he removed the hood of his old truck and hooked it to the tractor with chains. After loading the hay onto the hood, he pulled it out to where the cows stood waiting.
A two-week old calf couldn’t walk in the snow; it had to hop like a bunny. I thought it was funny to watch, but Daddy didn’t see the calf’s problem as funny. He was afraid it would freeze, so he stumbled though the knee-deep snow and caught it. He gently picked up the scared calf and laid it in the sled to take back to the barn. My brother and I had to hold it in the sled, which was not an easy task. It butted me in the stomach and kicked my brother twice. By the time we got back to the barn Daddy was cold, wet and in a bad mood. As he stomped toward the house, we circled him begging for a ride on his tractor sled. He said he would take us for one trip around the pasture. That was the greatest sled ride I ever had. Of course it was the only sled ride I ever had.
After the ride, Daddy went into the house for a cup of coffee and we made snow angels. After several attempts and failures, we headed to the house for instructions from my mother. She told us it was too cold for her to go outside. Then she reminded us to take off our make-sift snow boots if we came inside. We decided to stay out and play a little longer.
My brother started a snowball fight and for the next hour our yard was a battle zone. Even though he was the youngest, he was the best shot. After a while I got tired of him hitting us with snowballs, so I pushed him in the ditch by the road. I rolled on the ground laughing until I realized that he was completely covered with snow. He wasn’t hurt but I couldn’t get him out. I went to get my parents. Were they ever mad at me! As they fussed over my brother, I slipped away and headed to our grandmothers house. I walked the short distance to her house. Just as I opened the door to go into the kitchen, Granny appeared. She seemed to swoop down on me like a hawk, a broom in one hand and a towel in the other. She swatted me with the broom brushing as much snow off as she could. She told me to get back outside to take off our wet snow covered clothes and not to even think about coming back inside with my muddy shoes on. I looked at her bewildered. Aliens had invaded Granny’s body. My Granny would never ban me from her house just because of a little snow and mud.
After taking off my outer clothes, I meekly sat at the kitchen table eating biscuits, fried potatoes and country ham. Granny fussed about me getting so cold and wet. She wouldn’t let me walk back home. Daddy came on the tractor to get me. When we got home he told me to get in the house, get out of my wet clothes and after a hot bath to go to bed for a nap. I tried to explain to him that I hadn’t taken a nap since I was six but he was in no mood to listen. He said, “Do as I say.”
I walked into the kitchen, leaving a trail of snow behind me. Mother scooted me off to the bathroom where she had a warm bath waiting for me. I asked where my brother was and that made mother remember that is had been me that pushed him in the ditch. After informing me that he was taking nap, she lectured me on the dangers of horse play and said that I better hope he didn’t get pneumonia. After my hot bath, I snuggled down in my warm bed thinking about how I was going to build a snowman after my nap. I wondered about how cranky and irritable all the grown-ups had been. That’s when I came to the conclusion that, adults don’t like snow.

Yes, I'm a Harry Potter fan

The last book was my favorite. I think it was the only book that wasn't written or partially written before the first book was released. The last book has a different tone, flavor, feel. I think that when she wrote this book, she had a movie in her mind instead of a book. It has scenes. I won't be standing in line to see it first but I will see the movie before the first of Dec.

Contest, Contest Read all about it

Go to http://kristintubb.blogspot.com/2010/11/sharing-hope-contest.html and follow instructions.
What great reviews this book is getting. High five to Kristin.
I can't wait to read it.

New horse in the family, meet Scout

Yea, like my family needs a new horse... only this one is special, he came with a big price tag because he was a package deal. Horse, tack and trailer. The old owners said, buy the trailer and we'll throw in the horse for free. Like I've said before, No such thing as a free horse. He is a good horse.

Check his list

Christmas time's a comin' and old Santa is checking his list. How good have you been this year. I've been about as good as I am every year.... how is that for a straight answer. Lets just say that since the year Santa gave me a radiator for the car... I've not expected much. He's good to me all year and I'm just not a big "give me girl" Now don't get me wrong... a bow on a hood ornament doesn't make the radiator a gift and you do not have to say thank you... but it was funny. Oh yeah, there was the year he brought a bright shiny red coat that you might see in the redlight part of big cities. Santa thought it was beautiful... I thought it was trashy, but I wore it with black stocking at night in the dark, at home.

I won!

Well it was a pleasant surprise to see that I won second place in this contest... the prize money will pay for the new toner for my printer :)

Here is the link to read my story if you want:

www.short-story-time.com/chandlers-secret-weapon.html

For all of you not doing the NaNoWrimo

You are not alone! I tried this last year and I was a complete failure. Those words taste like crow to me... I hate failure! So I'm starting a NaDoWriNoMo...National Don't Write a Novel Month, to participate you don't write a fifty thousand word novel in 30 days. Yeah, all us slackers are winners. In truth I was going to do it again this year but I'm in the middle of chewing a novel apart and spitting it back out... trying to push this baby out of the nest.
If you want to do NaNoWriMo it's not too late, join now.

http://www.nanowrimo.org

Friends.. how lonely life would be without them

I love this quote

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten how it goes

I'm a bad friend... My writing buddy Sheila is having a birthday some time this weekend or maybe yesterday... can't remember the exact day.

Happy Birthday Sheila!

4 Weeks from today

You can almost smell cinnamon and fresh bread baking. Turkeys around the world are getting nervous and families are making plans for meals and football games. But know what is eight weeks away! Yikes!

So you think editing is hard??

I hate to edit, revise, re anything! But you know it's not the toughest job in the world. I mean it doesn't take super strength and if your a writer... it doesn't take unreachable mental powers. Sooooo... I might hate it but I know I can do it.
Now the picture of our farrier.... that is a job I don't want or one that I think I could do. Kudos to you Alton!

Here's a little poem I wrote for Editors

Lizard tails and pheasant feathers
Leaping frogs and rejection letters

Boils, warts and scaly skin
Afflictions no medicine will ever mend

Cross their eyes and rot their teeth
Make them regret rejecting me

Friday was a fun day

Look at the pictures... I don't think pink is my color. We all look calm and happy in the next picture but... oh my gosh you walk on grates that lets you see all the way to the ground!!! and the wind was blowing.

The people in the picture are:
(l-r: Mary Ann Taylor, Irene Latham, Pat Weaver, Stacey Barney and Jana Hutcheson)
I know Sheila, we left you out again. Sheila is still pouting from the cupcake thingy in Nashville.

My belief that everyone pulls their jeans on the same way was confirmed Friday. Stacey Barney was a joy to meet and a honest real person. It was fun learning a little bit about New York and tons of fun teaching her about southern hospitality, which wasn't a completely new subject for her since her mother is from the south. Love hearing her quote Mama sayings. "Mama says you shouldn't eat until everyone is at the table." maybe not an exact quote but close. I should have took notes. hehehe

On Saturday, I lost my voice. Yes, I know bummer. I'm still squeaky but getting better. I'm also leveling out from a emotional high weekend. Friends to talk with, great workshops and going to the special place in my mind that makes me create stories. Sigh, today is a common Wednesday.

Is it Friday yet?

Going to see Irene, getting to hang out with Sheila and Jana and Mary Ann... going to a writing conference... I can't wait.. I wonder if that is why I'm putting so many .... Here are tidbits of wisdom or craziness ... you choose

Mirrors show you what is reflected and eyes show you what anyone can see, but hearts see what can't be seen with mirrors or eyes

Words of wisdom from my Granny
If you look around and think you're lost, start walking. You'll come out somewhere.

This is how I live my life but I kinda put a twist to it, make sure you see where you are so you'll know where you are next time you're there.

Tell you husband you love him, but don't be afraid to tell him when you don't like him

Tell you kids you love them, but make sure they know that doesn't mean you'll allow bad manners from them.

Tell yourself you're great because you are and you'll only get to wrap speed if you believe.

Secretariat, What a movie!

I sure sign of a great screen play is when everyone knows the story and the ending but still pull for Big Red every race. I was on the edge of my seat pulling for that horse and I knew he won because I watched the real Secretariat winner all three in 1973. My granddaughters were very impressed that I saw him winner on TV. If you love horses you've got to see this, if you're so-so about horses... first get your head checked then go watch this movie. :)

It's not how you leave but how you land

Writing a novel is like taking a jump. It's not the beginning of the novel that is scary but the ending. When you approach a jump you have the same feeling you have when you start a novel, excitement.. butterflies in your stomach. The brief moments in the air goes from joy to fear... your heart pounding lump in your throat fear. Then you land and you're back to joy. I'm in the air with the jump under me. Will my novel falter, crash and burn or will I reach the other side. We'll see.

Time is near... within the next week

When do you say, I understand old friend and make the call to put down a horse that has been part of your life for over 27 years. A horse that has been the one to show children that horses are not scary and start them down the road of horsemanship and a life of riding. A horse that has been a member of a police mounted squad, pony ride horse at Halloween parties for over 20 years, pulled a plow when my father-in-law retired and decided he was going to farm the old way. A horse that was rocky steady and always always took care of his rider. The decision has been made... big tears falling out of my eyes... my son won't say when, he doesn't want anyone there but him and my husband because this old boy is so smart Ron is afraid he will know something is up, plus he wants everyone to remember him in the pasture grazing. We've been thinking this was coming for nearly a year and every time we say okay we need to do it, the old man would perk up and start eating. Bye Pride, it's been a great ride.

Planning...somebody has to do it

Look at this great picture... what do you see? Peace? Beauty? I see planning. Somebody many, many years ago planted those trees in a straight row, perfect spacing, and just close enough to form a enchanted cape over the road. I also see pride, yesterday and today... notice how manicured the grass and fields are. Did the person who planted those trees do it for themselves or did they what to leave something of beauty for future generations? What will you be leaving behind? I hope I leave a little wisdom for my grandchildren, lots of love in the form of memories and a little beauty in my writing and quilts.

A little early but what the heck!

BOO! October is the just about month. Summer is just about gone, fall is just about here, you're just about ready to start Christmas shopping and families are just about ready to make plans for the holidays. Sorry Sheila, but your birthday is just about in another month and Amy will I can't come up with a just about but Happy Birthday in ten days.
Don't just about finish that novel or don't just about enter that contest. Make October the "Git-r-done!" month. For all you non Larry the Cable Guy fans... if there is such a thing :) The is pronounced Get her done. hehehehehe...snort

As the year rushes to a end... have you met your goals?

Don't feel like you are fenced in when it comes to goals, you are not a failure if you don't reach them. Goals are important because they keep us grounded in purpose and are like road signs to show us which way we need to go. My biggest road sign this year has been detour.. but those unknown treks to get back on track have helped me to realize how important my goals are. Am I rambling? Friday will be Oct 1st and in three months we will be making new goals for 2011. If you have not reached you goals for 2010 get motivated to reach them. If it's impossible to get there before the end of the year... incorporate them into next years goals.

What happens if...

An agent at the conference this weekend talked about keeping the reader on the story path... that it was the writer's job to not let them get off the path. I understand this and have often wondered why books I read go in two directions. It's confusing and unsettling not to be sure which one to take. I'm sure the writer doesn't mean for this to happen but I think they know their story so well they just don't see the fork in the road as a problem. They know the way to the end. I'm going to look at my manuscripts with new eyes. I don't want anyone reading my stuff to see a fork in the story line and not know which way to go.

Look out Nashville here we come

This weekend I will be attending the Mid-South SCBWI conference in Nashville, TN. Three weeks from this weekend, I will be attending the SouthernBreeze conference in Birmingham, AL. Why am I spending my money and time to attend two conferences within a month? I try to interact with writers at least four times a year. I attend SCBWI workshops, go to the Killer Nashville (which I didn't get to attend this year and everyone said it was great) Springmingle in Atlanta, Ga and the conference of Mid-South and SouthernBreeze. Here is an article I wrote a few years ago for an e-newsletter.

I’ve attended several conferences and workshops in the last few years and have found that the information gained at each one has been helpful to improve my writing. As a member of the Society of Children Book Writers & Illustrators, I keep up with local conference information at www.scbwi.org. Check out their site, you don’t have to be a member of the SCBWI to use the site or to attend conferences sponsored by local SCBWI chapters.

What should I wear when I attend a conference?

You should wear something that is comfortable. You wouldn’t wear jeans or shorts but you don’t have to dress formal. I’ve always wore dress slacks with a nice shirt and jacket or a sweater. I’ve seen attendees in dresses or suits with high heels and I’ve also seen jeans and t-shirts. Remember you want to present yourself as a professional and should dress to project that image. In my opinion, the most important item of your attire should be your shoes. Wear shoes that are easy on your feet because you will be walking a lot.


What should I bring with me to a conference?

Pen, paper, business cards, and a smile are all you need to have a wonderful experience. I did not know anyone at the first conference I attended, but the regional advisor and the conference coordinator greeted me at the front door then introduced me to members of their chapter. I remember how I felt that day, so when I attend a conference I make a point of looking for anyone sitting alone or looking lost. A simple hello can change a person’s conference experience. Just remember every author at the conference, published or unpublished, started at the bottom and worked up. Mingle and network because you never know when a conference contact will help you in the future.


What is the purpose of conferences?

A writing conference is like any other conference, where people that are interested in the same thing get together to learn. Authors, educators, publishers, and editors are the instructors of mini-workshops that last about 50 minutes. There are usually three or four sessions at one time, so you need to study the schedule and attend the workshops that will be helpful to you.
I would suggest that you have questions ready to ask the speakers. Every conference I’ve attended has had a workshop where an editor or publisher takes you step-by-step through the manuscript submission process. This would be the perfect workshop for beginners to get those nagging questions answered by an editor or publisher.

At a conference this fall in Birmingham, Alabama, I met Marilyn Edwards editor of Hopscotch for Girls, Boys’ Quest, and Fun for Kidz. She didn’t have two heads or a rejection stamp in her hand ready to use. She was wonderful. She talked to us about how she hates to reject good stories that don’t fit the magazines theme list. Authors should always check guidelines and theme list before submitting to children magazine publishers.

Conferences are like critiquing groups or college classes, if you go in with an open mind and soak in all the information available, you will have a great time. If you don’t mingle and interact with the other attendees, you probably won’t benefit for the experience.

New Beginnings

Most of the time, I don't like new beginnings. I don't like change in general, not because it isn't good... but I'm one of those people that have to know everything around me.. how it works, why it works, why it is better than the old way, and IMPORTANT point have to keep so of the old way. :)
Now new babies, new friends anything that deals with the heart I'm for and I say the more the merrier. So here I am "deep sigh" taking the first step into my new life of writing ... I will write on Burning Bridges every day and meet my goal of a polished manuscript by Dec 31 2010. The novel is finished but needs work.
I will submit at least once a month... I have all these stories that are waiting to go out.
Now if I could just make that old mirror reflect a new me I would be set.

Look for the beauty but see the flaws

When you critique a fellow writer's work... look for the good but don't ignore the flaws. I've never read a manuscript that I didn't see something good about it... and I always point out the flaws ... in my opionion which that and a dollar will get something off the dollar menu at McDonalds. I make suggestions to make the manuscript stronger...but I always say why I think they are flaws instead of "This just doesn't work". I know my flaws in writing.. I can't spell, grammar, using the word that too much, using the wrong word like metal or medal :) To name just a few.

Take this picture of my son's horse Daisy.
Beautiful right. Well yes she has a near perfect head but look at her mouth. Now here is my point, if I had not pointed out the parrot mouth (that is what it is called) would you have seen it or would you have just seen the beautiful lines of her head, jaw and how great the set of her ears are???
Your writing doesn't need to be perfect first draft, you can hide that slight parrot mouth in the show ring with a chain loop halter. Writers can fix problems in beautiful stories with critique groups and editing. Stop sweating the fixable stuff and write!

I've jumped that fence of "Not Submitting"

I've not enter a contest in nearly two years. I've not submitted in over six months. I'm jumping that fence and getting back on track. I submitted three stories to Story-Time.com Here are the links to my stories. Vote for me if you have time.

http://www.short-story-time.com/the-grapevines.html
http://www.short-story-time.com/cottonmouth-snakes-are-they-the-bad-boys-of-the-south.html http://www.short-story-time.com/chandlers-secret-weapon.html

Okay, I have my head up and my back straight. I see the next jump, I just need to look ahead and not look down. Come jump these fences with me. Get your work ready to submit.

Roll Tide Roll

Yaaa Whooo The Tide showed up tonight. Penn State's quarterback was awesome... I see a big future for him.
Yes, I watch football... yes I understand football... one small difference between my husband, son and me... I quilted while watching football. :)

I copied my niece's picture because it's so perfect

Here is a poem that I wrote on 9-11. Like most of America, I was in shock. My heart aches still today when I see images or even recall the things my country endured that day. I think that the wound still oozes, not from actions but from hate that has festered since that day. My God is forgiving and he tells me to put my troubles and burdens on him to free my spirit. Say a pray for the families of the victims of 9-11... I'm sure they still need them. Now remember I'm not a poet.. I just write my heart and it doesn't have rules or meter

I feel GODS tears today
He had no part of the tragedy on that September day
I’m sure his heart is breaking
To see so much suffering and so many lives taken
He watches the people of our nation grieving
Young and old watch the terror just not believing
That a man made with God’s own hand
Could cause such destruction in this land
Shattered families, dreams and hope
But trust in him and he’ll help us cope
I know that it’s hard to not ask why
That in a blink of an eye
Revenge could come from on high
But from the beginning his children have had
Free will, the choice to do good or to do bad
This was not an act from our loving father
But from a man that believes in another
To do such an act in the name of religion
Is painful to believe and that is the reason
God hangs his head and lets the tears fall
They flood the hearts and soul of all
His tears will give us strength and courage
His word will comfort and nourish
To over come this act of a mad man
We need to bow our head and fold our hands
As a nation we need to say
I feel GODS tears today

Fall is less than two weeks away

That means that everyone will be starting the holiday crazy with family, food and friends... If we don't set writing periods that we stick to... will we write? I'll get writing done after the kids go back to school, after the holidays, after,after... I have a goal with my novel and the good Lord willing and the creeks don't rise... I'm going to make my goal this year. See ya Dec 31st and let you know

I know some of you will not believe this but

I'm sending a query and first three chapters of Burning Bridges out to a publisher... yep... sending my baby out into the world. It's time I spread my wings and fly... but...I'm scared of heights.