Writer on a Horse
And a Dog

The world looks better from the back of a horse and the roads of life are easier with a good dog beside you.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

In 2014 I want to be more like a dog

I'm serious... each morning I'm going to get up and pray... "Please Lord, make me more like a dog."

    Here's why,

    • Things We Learn from Our Dogs
      • Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
      • Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
      • When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
      • When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
      • Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
      • Take naps and stretch before rising.
      • Run, romp and play daily.
      • Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
      • Be loyal.
      • Never pretend to be something you're not.
      • If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
      • When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
      • Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
      • Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
      • On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
      • When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
      • No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout...run right back and make friends.
      • Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

    I found these dog Proverbs funny ... and true... hope y'all love them too
    • Dog Proverbs
      • "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about little puppies." -- Gene Hill
      • "In dog years I'm dead" -- Unknown
      • "Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." -- Dave Barry
      • "I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl." -- Penny Ward Moser
      • "Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx.
      • "To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." -- Aldous Huxley
      • "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." -- Robert Benchley
      • "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives." -- Sue Murphy
      • "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." -- August Strindberg
      • "No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." -- Fran Lebowitz
      • "Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul- chicken, pork, half cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -- Anne Tyler
      • "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -- Rita Rudner
      • "My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." -- Joe Weinstein
      • "Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant." -- Unknown
      • "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." -- James Thurber
      • "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -- Ann Landers
      • "Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein
      • "In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
      • "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." -- Ben Williams
      • "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." -- Edward Abbey
      • "Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it." -- Unknown
      • "Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.." -- Unknown
      • "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." -- Christopher Morley
      • "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." -- Josh Billings
      • "Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." -- Holbrook Jackson
      • "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." -- Andrew A. Rooney
      • "He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion" -- Unknown
      • "Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in." -- Mark Twain
      • "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." -- Unknown
      • "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." -- Mark Twain
      • "Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." -- Smiley Blanton
      • "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." -- John Steinbeck

    Thursday, December 19, 2013

    Will be back Writer helping Santa

    If I was a Santa helper ...he would put me in charge of the coal... I've not been a very good girl this year.
    I've been ugly many times each MONTH to the Comcast people... I've been mouthy and quirky to my fellow employees at work and I've not stayed in touch with family and friends like I usually do..

    Sounds more like a confession doesn't it

    Okay lets make it not confessional   I'm most likely going to be worst next year.... I seem to get crankier every day and the more I try to stop the worst I get.... I'm going to be the Grinch of North Alabama.  Everyone says I have this tone in my voice...what the heck is that... I'm being nice when I want to yell at you... really what is THE tone.... unless it is a warning that the person I'm talking to is walking on thin ice and they better be careful,
     that is being considerate don't you think.

    No really, one of my New Year resolutions this year is... "Be nicer to people you want to smack."

    Friday, December 6, 2013

    Deck the Halls with laughter and joy

    Annual tree trimming with all grandbabies... what fun!

    Tuesday, November 26, 2013

    I hate deer season

    Just so you know I'm not against hunting but people hunting shouldn't drive on my new freshly seeded pasture and they shouldn't be so dang lazy... get out of your truck and hunt... that means do some walking.  My son-in-law always leaves his truck at the barn and walks into the woods... he in a hunter... you red-neck lazy want-to-be hunters should take notes... oh wait that would mean you would have to be able to write and READ no hunting signs.

    Okay, I feel so much better now.  I was going to hunt these people down by following their tracks but Ronnie wouldn't let me... "Pat, they are hunting."  me  "Yea, I know... so"  Ronnie, "they have guns."  me "Oh, yea."

    So I came home an put the lights on the tree... all ready for the grandbabies to decorate.

    Oh yea, I know it was mean of me to put Bambi pictures with this blog but hey mean is my middle name.

    Sunday, November 24, 2013

    I know why we get fat when we get older

    We don't skip everywhere we go!  Or twirl! Or run ahead so we can run back!

    I was at Walmart the other day, shopping with plenty of time... hardly never happens... and I was watching the children.  Everyone of them that wasn't in the buggy seat was skipping, twirling or running.  They were burning up those calories.

    So I've decided I'm going to skip instead of walk and when the mood hits me I'm going to twirl.  Running isn't a good idea at my age... oh the running isn't that bad it the falling that goes with it that is a killer.

    If you don't hear from me ... come get me out of the crazy house or jail
    ... I just bet somebody will either think I'm crazy or high.

    Saturday, November 23, 2013

    Ghost of Thanksgiving past

    Okay, I've posted this before but every Thanksgiving holiday I read it to remind myself how quick we can forget the people in our life... yes I wrote it.... I've not even titled it ... just something that sprang from my fingers on cold November day several years ago... makes me cry every time I read it

    A winkled finger touches the rose and ivy design on the china plate.  Tears fill her eyes, and she quickly closes them.  Reaching for the handkerchief she always keeps in her sweater pocket, Labecca wipes the evidence of emotion from her cheek. 
    Any emotion brought questions, doctors and medicines to stop you from feeling.  Memories should be allowed to flow because they painted joy, hope and love into your life.  With them your essence is like a masterpiece painted by an artist; without them you are like a wisp of smoke waiting to leave. 
    Labecca looks around her small room with beige tile on the floor, beige paint on the wall and earth tone bedspread on the bed.  No color!  She feels herself fade into the neutral texture of the room and its nothingness strangles all hope of happiness from her. 
    She glances down at the only piece of china left from her life as a daughter, sister, mother and wife.  Every Thanksgiving she had set her wedding china for her family’s feast.  Afterwards she washed each piece by hand to preserve it for the next annual tradition.  But what happens to tradition when you’re the only one left?

    Carefully placing the plate in the wire basket attached to her walker, Lebecca struggles to rise and starts the long walk to the dining area.  As she shuffles down the sterile hallway the sound of children laughing haunts her.

    Thursday, November 21, 2013

    I think my Granny is haunting me

    I remember seeing her eat a bowl of turnip greens and boiled turnips and nothing else.... And I would about throw up ..... Guess what I ate for supper!  And it was so good!

    I remember telling my mother that I would always eat ice cream.  Anytime. Any place.  I haven't had a bowl of ice cream in months... And there is plenty in freezer ... I'm old.  I rather have turnip greens rather than ice cream.

    I think I will make some pudding... Practice for meals in the old folks home.  They eat pudding and jello every meal.

    Thankful for the little things

    I've always liked my cell phone but todayI'm thankful I  have one because I would never talk to my grand kids if I didn't have one... well lets reword that statement... not really talks but  text and iMessage ...sadly their granddaddy is still in the dark ages ( their words not mine) and he only talks to them when they need him to do something for them.... Like pull their horse to school so they can ride in parade.

    I'm thankful for " Talking Football" because it is something Ronnie and I both enjoy watching and the news but that doesn't count.

    I'm thankful for my chickens because they make me get out on mornings I want to be a hermit in a shell.  And they're so much easier than the horses to care for... Except of course when dogs come around and kill half of them.

    I'm thankful I have a job where they let me work two days.. Just enough for spending money...and don't pressure me to work more.

    I'm thankful I'm still able to work.

    I'm thankful for a warm bed, plenty of food, and bag-lady-reject clothes (that is what my friend Sheila calls my wardrobe) I'm thankful for my health and most of all I'm thankful that I have people in my life that loves me just like I am without trying to change me.

    I would not be good being anyone but me.   I'm really good at being ME!

    Thursday, November 7, 2013

    Got a question for y'all

    My husband said I was weird because I like to watch...

    1. Bones-- super sad that this is the last season-- he says it really bad acting... yea like old Bonanza programs aren't

    2. Grimm-- love it, no I really love it

    3. Sleepy hollow-- getting into it

    4. and finally  Criminal Minds  again he said it predicable and bad acting so he watches Pawn Stars... I hate that show

    So y'all decide, am I weird because I watch these shows????

    Wednesday, November 6, 2013

    Heigh Ho Heigh Ho it's back to work we go

    And it stinks... not really but super exhausted after napping every afternoon for two months

    Why am I still up at 10:30 pm??  napped when I got home from work... almost missed Criminal Minds

    Tuesday, November 5, 2013

    Ranch Sorting a butt numbing experience

    Ranch Sorting is an event that pits a team of two riders on horseback against the clock. Teamwork is the key with both riders working in harmony to cut out the correct cattle and drive them to the pen while keeping the wrong numbered cattle back. 

    If you're one of the riders, time flies.  If you're a spectator your butt gets numb from sitting and waiting to watch your rider.... I love it but hubby would rather be in his man cave watching ballgame.

    As promised here are the pictures of event

    First two Ron and Lake riding together

    Ron working cows.

     Lakelynn working cows

     And when they won't work... scream at them

    Remember to dance a little

                                                             And cheer for each other...

    Sunday, November 3, 2013

    Back From USTPA World Championship... Good News

    Long days from sunrise to way past sunset but it was all good since Lakelynn brought home 4th in Senior Youth and Ron got 7th in Class 3

    More important than the wins... which are great... but we spent time enjoying family, cheering, and just happy to be with each other.  Posting pictures of family first and tomorrow winner pictures.
    We missed you Jaselynn!  It's tough being a grown-up and missing all the fun because you have to work. 

    Wednesday, October 30, 2013

    Barn Fright

    Here is my entry to  the 3rd annual Halloweesie Contest sponsored by Susanna Leonard Hill.  The rules of the contest are simple: write a Halloween story in 100 words or less.  It can be scary or funny, poetry or prose, but it must be appropriate for children and include the words spooky, black cat, and cackle.

    Barn  Fright
     When Spooky clops through the dark barn, mice scurry in front of his hooves.  His ears twitch when chickens roosting in the rafters cluck and cackle at being disturbed.  Spooky snorts at the eerie figures the moon paints on the wall.  
     Wait! What is that? 
    Yellow eyes stare from the corner.
    Spooky shakes his head to show his is not afraid.  But when the eyes leap toward him, Spooky bolts from the barn.
    A black cat curls up in the corner.  The barn is quiet again.

    Monday, October 28, 2013

    I post this every year at Halloween

    Why?  Because it makes me happy to read it and wish... no not really... if my stuff was good enough they would have bought it.  Not a perfect poem but still fun.

    Halloween Wish

    Lizard tails and pheasant feathers
    Leaping frogs and rejection letters
    Boils, warts and scaly skin
    Afflictions no medicine will ever mend

    Cross their eyes and rot their teeth
    Make them regret rejecting me